Happy Trauma-versary?

me? I have so much to do but zero motivation to do it.” The clouds gather outside and rain pours down creating a heavy grayness that matches your mood. You’re usually prompt, organized, and hardworking, but today it’s just not in you. You order coffee and doughnuts for delivery and settle into your impressionable pillows for a nice long funk-fest with scrolling and comfort shows. Suddenly, every creak in the house and each deep grumble of thunder has your heart bouncing off your snuggie. Then it hits you, “Oh, that [insert trauma thing here] happened 3 years ago tomorrow.”

Trauma-versary: the emotional or physiological reaction that can emerge around the anniversary of a traumatic event, even years later.

Have you ever wondered why trauma-versaries hit so hard? Even when time has passed and you think you’ve done the work, sometimes there is no escape from the body’s alarm clock. Bessel van der Kolk wasn’t kidding when he claimed, “the body keeps the score,” meaning trauma can get stuck in our bodies and resurface at even the most inconvenient times. That resurfacing can look like a constant state of fight-or-flight, causing you to feel unsafe, disconnected, anxious, or numb. Often our bodies remember before our mind does, leaving us confused about what brought on such feelings. Then we may wonder how to help our bodies recognize that the danger has passed and reconnect with the present moment.

Treatment approaches to explore may include the following:

• Neurofeedback, which helps retrain brainwave activity, reducing hyperarousal;
• Yoga and mindfulness, which contribute to reinforcing the mind-body connection and staying present, making it possible to self-regulate;
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which helps process and desensitize traumatic memories;
• Anything creative, which provides a way to express emotion and process experience without necessarily divulging the events (i.e.: painting, poetry, theater, dance).

No matter what, don’t get discouraged, and know that you are not alone. These experiences are common enough that entire books and treatment models have been devoted to understanding them. Keep in mind that the brain, mind, and body are all part of a system and will need to work together to find healing and relief. Be patient with yourself, make space for self-compassion and grace. There is hope for recovery, reach out if you need support! 

References

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking Press.